barbed_whispers

getaway_machine: theemdash is a LYING SKANK.

ahaha she just fell into the wall!

ighuityulgf

she keeps attacking me so TIME TO POST.

(otherwise knows as: Things I Like To Do While Drunk)

1. Argue about which member of the X-Men each of my friends is. (For the record, I'm Rogue. And not shitty movie Rogue! I'm cartoon Rogue. Despite what Ben says.)
   
2. Argue about which Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle each of my friends is. (I'm Raphael, because I'm an unapologetic asshole. According to my friends, that is. I still think Ben is Raphael (because Raphael is all "Fuck you guys, I'm leaving" or maybe Bel is Raphael (cos he ends up in the tub, heh) but I was vetoed.)
   
3. Watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (and marvel at the costumes, and wonder if the costumes can be bought on ebay) and Mean Girls (because we can't find something we all want to watch, so we might as well watch something we all don't want to watch) over and over.
   
4. Be a completely insensitive asshole by creating a drinking game for Hotel Rwanda. (In my defense, we were only watching it because Hita needed to watch it for one of her classes. And if we hadn't had a drinking game, there's no way we would have paid attention during the movie. But since we did have a drinking game, we had to pay close attention so we could drink.)
   
5. Play games like Candyland and Don't Break the Ice.
   
6. Climb out the window instead of talking to annoying people.
   
7. Film fake documentaries.
   
8. Laugh at, with, and about my friends.

While I'm talking about X-Men, omg, if you haven't seen this video, you probably need to. It's an old X-Men cartoon, but it's dubbed. "Don't you know who the fuck I am? I'm the Juggernaut, bitch!" ahahahahahaha omg it is AMAZING.

I LOVE PRECEPTING DAY.

twice a semester, our school cancels classes so we can talk to our advisors, and everybody gets drunk the night before, because hey! no classes! tonight was one of those nights.

i spilled my drink all over my phone. my phone has still nopt recovered from LAST semester's precepting day, which was the night before halloween. haha, good planning stockton!

then we watched movies and flirted and blah blah blah,

then i stole joey's id and stuck it down my shirt and he chased me with air fresheners and AIR FRESHENERS THAT WERRE ON FIRE. yet i prevailed! except then he went down my shirt and got it back.

and then i called my brother to tell him that joey MOLESTED me and vinnie was like "bitch, it's 4am you're both dead!" oops. I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY PEOPLE DON'T PUT THEIR PHONES ON SILENT WHEN THEY ARE SLEEPING.

oh man. i love f13 parties. and i drank my whole (smallish) bott;le of rum. good times. bed now. woot.

i love:

• getaway_machine.
  
• the many wonderful flavors of rum i consumed tonight, including but probably not limited to apple and raspberry.
  
• watching my friends set themselves on fire.
  
• watching the people who live across from us run through a wall of flames in order to "beat" us.
  
• drunkyland.
  
• catchphrase--especially when it's dirty or mocking ben, which happens to be always.
  
• "ben's mom!" (aka aj's answer for every catchphrase clue.)
  
• the guys at the liquor store who, as soon as i walk in, say "the hard liquor's that way."
  
• snow parties--even when they fail to bring us snow that actually sticks to the ground. (except it's now two hours later and THE SNOW IS TOTALLY STICKING. WTF, WEATHER GODS. W. T. F.
  
• smirnoff best when it is between getaway_machine's boobs. LOOK I REMEMBERED HA HA HA.

however, i do NOT love bruisexpristine, cos she was considering marrying getaway_machine JUST TO SPITE ME. what she apparently forgot, though, was that i could get in my car RIGHT NOW (well, not right now, cos i'm kind of drunk, but LATER) and DRIVE TO HER HOUSE and CUT HER. (yes, i DO realize she's in ohio, but that's not really THE POINT.) what a h0r.

and for the record, while i approve of raven_annabelle (even though i still think she's ev0l), i do not approve of fluffymaru.

the end.

(Scene: Liz's party. I am two drinks and a shot down when I decide it's time to go back inside and make another drink. People I don't know have just arrived and are occupying the kitchen.)

Random!guy (who is cute, btw): So, what is there to drink?
Lisa: Um. I am making our new magical awesome drink of choice.
R!g: (gets a cup) How do I make it?
L: Um. I have no idea? Haha. Pour some rum in the cup. Like you're making rum and Coke. Then add Sierra Mist and cranberry juice, more juice than soda.
R!g: (tries it, likes it, because it is seriously awesome) So, what's your name?
L: (please note, it's really not that loud, since there are only 5 people in the house and no music) What?
R!g: (more slowly) What's your name?
L: We didn't name the drink, dude. It's just Magical Drink.
R!g: No, YOUR name.
L: Oh. Lisa. Hi. PS, I'm pretty drunk.

Heh. And I totally did say "PS" and qualify every sentence after that with "but I'm pretty drunk." (I almost got disowned for being totally buzzed after a red-headed slut shot and half of the aforementioned Magical Drink. But I prevailed.) Anyway, definitely a good time. And I slept on a shelf. And just so I do not ever ever forget: Shiv in the closet. HAH.

But I am kind of grumpy right now, so how about ( Happy Thoughts? )

Spell check suggestions for pancakekiller: pancake killer, pancake-killer, pedagogical, pedagogically.

Ahahahaha. Best party EVER last night. Several people got cupcakes and / or hummus in the face. Liz definitely has the weirdest friends ever, and they definitely spent too much time talking to me and Sheena. There may have been some girl!kissing, and I may have been involved. We played Never Have I Ever, but nobody has any dirt on me, so I win at life. Project Mario was a go, but sadly failed. But Hoens kissed Joey and then we all wrestled him to the ground and groped him, so it was alright. Joey managed to get two sets of girls to triple-kiss, but his camera didn't work, ha ha. I was locked in a shed with Sheena in an attempt to lock ourselves in with Joey. We pretty much spent the night sitting around (or standing around outside, smoking), talking and laughing. I'm so sad Liz is graduating :(

On an unrelated note: This is the dress I'm wearing to the wedding, and I really hate people who treat me as though I cannot make decisions without letting my emotions take over.

1. soco is NOT my friend. i am giving that 3/4 of a bottle away because i have LEARNED MY LESSON after only two shots.

2. the dc++ trolls are really into me for some reason.

3. beach clean-ups are NOT a good plan the night after a party.

4. i suck at beer smirnoff pong.

5. puking makes you feel better.

6. lots of people will apparently kill me if i get a cki tattoo.

7. i am still questing for The Good Liquor. soco and tequilla are OFF the list.

8. i miss getaway_machine SO MUCH and that is the worst part about habing a goddamned life!

• bought new jeans + flip flops. (confidential to simplykatie: green, not orange.)
  
  
• found out my dad was in the hostpital and might have to get surgery next week.
  
  
• found a liquor store that doesn't card.
  
  
• drank several glasses of kool-aid + rum. (shut up, pancakekiller.)
  
  
• made jello shots that MELTED THE CUPS haha i think i made them too strong oops.
  
  
• watched A Knight's Rale, Pirates of the Caribbean, and Josi & the Pussycats.
  
  
• made a new best friend I LOVE YOU AJ!! hahahah
  
  
• came up with new "bases" because TIPPING YOUR CANOE is the new homerun PASS IT ON!!!
  
  
• witnessed a semi-friend PEEE HERSELF and claim that it was just a drop but DUDE, she PEED herself like totally. stupid soritity girls.
  
  
• caused other people to create a new semester goal which is to find me a boy to kiss because my innocence is clearly UNACCEPTABLE. failed to point out how much pr0n i read.
  
  
• scheduled bi-weekly parties here because i rock and whats's better than getting drunk un e-court? NOTHING yay e-court i love the tumbleweeds that roll through here!!
  
  
• katie, heather (the one who burped and farted at the same time) sayd hi.

i hope mydad's ok. thery said it's his gallbladder, and according to poppy (from secret vampire, my medical reference yes i am lame TURN AROUND SO I CAN GIVE YOU THE FINGER) you don't need the gallbladder CLEARLY cause it has a funnt name.

wow my waords ain't so hot when i'm drunk is it? (i';d like to point out that i can use html BUT NOT PUNCTUATION WOW I ROCK)

inconcluson, RUM + KOOL-AID IS MY NEW BEST FRIEND.

psa: HAPPY LATE BUIRTHDAY AREN. yes, this druknen message is all youre getting. i tried to eite you fic but I FAILED because i suck. sorry. i still love you though.