barbed_whispers

in honor of angel's ten year anniversary, i am reading some old fic that we wrote on the buffy board. specifically, a fic written by getaway_machine in which the boardies must band together to climb the mountain and fight queen riley. or something. idek, you guys. anyway, i am tormenting ashley with snippets, and we had this conversation:

lisa: don't you kill me in this fic?
ashley: I think so
lisa: what a bitch
ashley: I think I also cry about it.
ashley: oh, fiction

can you believe i have been best friends with this bitch for nine years or whatever?!

(you can find all sorts of delightful fic here, if you can navigate the hilariously bad website. i'm reading the fighters if you are lazy though!

happy christmas, kids! hope a certain jolly fat man did you right :D

i am lounging on the couch in my pjs, and i've got yuletide fic & a house that smells like lasagna. life is pretty good today :) (keep an eye on delicious if you want recs in the very few fandoms i read.)

(also, we are watching a basketball game. vinnie: "you know, i never knew why they were called the magic, but i get it now. that's pretty clever!")

vinnie: *is suggesting baby names for chris's not-yet-conceived child* how about sebastian?
kim: like "under the sea" sebastian?
lisa: sebastian. who do you think you are- pete wentz?
vinnie: who the eff is pete wentz?

(meanwhile)

chris: the jonas brothers are losers. look at them! they dress like nerds!
lisa: they also wear purity rings.
chris: someone should beat them up. WE should beat them up.
kim: i think they live in new jersey.
chris: GET THE CAR.

(meanwhile)

mom: *watching the godfather* my grandfather made hats.
family: ...
mom: he had a hat store!
(if you are wondering what this has to do with the godfather, JOIN THE CLUB.)

i woke up sick on friday. it's been going around the office and i was the last man standing, but i swear i felt fine until i got home thursday night (when my throat started to hurt). UGH.

so here is a comprehensive list of what i did this weekend:

-moved my laptop next to my bed.

-watched a ton of movies: lilo & stitch, a knight's tale, becoming jane (the one damn time i want a happy ending...), real genius (i love this movie so much), idiocracy (it was funny), unnacompanied minors (good stuff), most of across the universe (hated it, didn't mind at all when my download cut off halfway through), and burn after reading (entertaining).

-watched that patd halloween song video thing at least 100 times. (no seriously. i am watching it RIGHT NOW.)

-had the following conversation re: my descent into madness bandom:

aren (1:06:59 AM): You are now the wounded gazelle.
lisa (1:07:10 AM): and bandom is the lion?
aren (1:07:23 AM): Yes. The retarded lion of Jon falling over.

-read a patd fic involving mermaids. or a merman, i should say.

-went to the hotel cafe show. (eh. the singers were all good but the crowd sucked.)

-opened a bunch of entries to reply to but never replied because typing in bed is hard.

-finished an abundance of katherines. i liked it more this time.

-went to publix for more drugs. this has, not surprisingly, made the patd video EVEN BETTER.

-slept.

mom: if you didn't move--
lisa: *rolls eyes*
mom: *ignores* IF YOU DIDN'T MOVE, you could see the little mermaid on broadway in november.
lisa: ...
mom: with alexa?
lisa: ...
mom: THE LITTLE MERMAID!!
lisa: yeah, i'll have to pass.
mom: *sadface*

anyway, i have exactly one month left at this job. *celebrates*

mom: we won a bunch of money in atlantic city! like, a lot! woo!
lisa: yeah, well i have BETTER news.
mom & dad: ...
lisa: they are opening a HARRY POTTER THEME PARK in ORLANDO.
mom: for the love of god!
dad: you're never coming home, are you?
lisa: *dances*

mom: you know, if you meet a boy when we're on vacation (in florida this january) and you marry him and move there, i would have an excuse to go to florida all the time!
lisa: ...
mom: so you should do that! you know, get married and move to florida.
lisa: *somehow manages not to giggle*


also, vp talked to me like, three times today! and one of those times was to comment on my quidditch world cup shirt. ha! this shirt is such a guy magnet!

if (when? haha) i leave getaway_machine for g. (one of my managers at store, and a supremely awesome person), at least ashley can be comforted by the fact that g. totally freaked out tonight when she realized i've never seen any of the indiana jones movies.

to sum up the past week: my birthday weekend was awesome. my friends threw me an awesome party, we met, flirted with, and intimidated so many random boys, and i had a blast. i won $100 in atlantic city gambling with the casino's money. i got to sleep in on monday and lounge about the house. there was pie. g. took me out drinking and we had a fucking blast (and we amazingly didn't get stabbed, punched, or even yelled at, which, given our topics of conversation, is kind of shocking) and we were in the bar til it closed, which, awesome. and then i worked a whole fucking lot. and there was a threeway involving ashley and simplykatie. oh, and then the store was ridiculously quiet so we've been playing cards instead of working. and then my tamagotchi's battery died. let's not talk about it.

possibly my favorite moment from my birthday weekend:

lisa: *is wearing this shirt*
aj: *points at shirt* like the song?
lisa: haha, yeah.
ben: *sings* ceeeeeeelebrate good times, come on!
lisa and aj: ...
ben: what?
lisa: seriously?
ben: then what song is it?
aj: how about 99 red balloons?
ben: ...i guess.

ashley (10:19:17 PM): ...
ashley (10:19:20 PM): you LIKE Lisa?
ashley (10:19:22 PM): You LIKE her?
ashley (10:19:37 PM): She has an evil laugh! AND THAT MAY JUST BE HER BEST QUALITY.
ashley (10:19:44 PM): HOW TERRIFYING IS THAT?


ahaha, BEST. ENDORSEMENT. EVER.


guess who is watching the sound of music! ::SQUEES::

Lisa: *is wearing a Quidditch World Cup shirt*
K: Wow, did you go to the Quidditch World Cup or did someone get that for you?
Lisa: I went!
K: How was it?
Lisa: Oh man, it was amazing.
K: That's awesome! *walks away*
Lisa: *goes back to working*
K: *comes back* So, did you have to take a portkey, or did you drive there?
Lisa: Portkey. It was in England.
K: I see. *looks around shiftily* I guess we shouldn't really be discussing this in front of all these people.
Lisa: *sadly* Yeah, probably not.
K: *smiles and leaves*
Lisa: *is in love*

getaway_machine (10:46:40 PM): satan with white horns after labor day at the demon prom?
getaway_machine (10:46:43 PM): that would never happen
getaway_machine (10:46:46 PM): he simply wouldn't GO

( we possibly spent far too much time discussing satan's grooming habits. possibly! )

i have >1% free space on my computer. and i don't even have microsoft fucking word on here. wtf. so anyway, i'm deleting stuff, aka reading random old shit. ( random old IMs. )

it's almost the one year anniversary of Your Mom. that's insane guys. in honor of funny chats and whatnot, i'm posting a bunch of conversations. because i can. hahaha. :)

( katie and i obsess about tamora pierce's book. ) ( the good part about old age. ) ( why you should never insult me in an away message. ) ( and maybe my karma isn't so bad after all. )

in other news: 19.5%, with 549 hours and 20 minutes to go! at this rate, by the time this downloads i will already have seen the pilot ON TELEVISION!

eta: i may never say this again, but go read this harry/draco fic because it rocks HARDCORE. (omg the antennae have infected hp!!)

1. omg i love jewish holidays because one of my roommates goes home for the whole weekend. and then the other one randomly does too. wee!

2. i am somehow broke. like, my checking account is EMPTY. must look into this. i have two paychecks to cash though, so whatev.

3. i'm going hoooooooooooooome tomorrow. and my mom made me chicken pot pie, which is my favoritest food ever.

4. panda has a magnum penis. and katie likes to use her for it.

5. marco is a 33 year old chinese man living in new jersey. marco is one of six men stalking me after i have been on icq for less than 48 hours. i am not even kidding. i haven't talked to anyone, joined any groups, nothing. and i have six stalkers. marco is the most fun, partly because panda is a bad influence on me, and partly because marco calls me his goddess and says he will dream of me. it caused panda and i to stop breathing for a very long time. ( read the whole shebang )

so, me and getaway_machine are going to open a chain of stores where being rude to the customers is our primary goal, because working retail and being polite sucks far too much for words. the chat last night named our store and came up with slogans! ( Come into Your Mom for low, low prices! )

This is journal has turned into a Lisa and Red Giggle-a-thon. Heehee.

( This week on Jerry Springer: Men who are mothers and the Slayers who judge them! )

Made to heal Xx: i want to legally change my name to Bill Zebub and run for president.
Fyerfly21: You should. Can I be vice president?
Made to heal Xx: of course!
Made to heal Xx: we can institute a snappy pants law!
Fyerfly21: Rock out!
Fyerfly21: Oooooh! Good plan.
Made to heal Xx: cyn can be the Secretary of Cheese
Fyerfly21: Rach can be Secretary of the Suck Ass.
Made to heal Xx: hah!
Fyerfly21: I mean this in a good way, of course. Just... {s rachisasuckass
Made to heal Xx: mom can be Secretary of Molesting Innocent Toys
Made to heal Xx: and we can declare war on FOX!
Fyerfly21: And put mucho funding for Firefly!
Fyerfly21: And have them take tours of the white house and the vice president's house. The bedrooms are especially interesting.
Made to heal Xx: look at this bed, mal!

Made to heal Xx: wanna go see the Lizzie Maguire movie with me?
BeautifulDay3005: NO
Made to heal Xx: will Sarah come with me?
BeautifulDay3005: yes
Made to heal Xx: yay!
Made to heal Xx: we don't need you
Made to heal Xx: Chair can come too.
BeautifulDay3005: chair is my support
Made to heal Xx: "from beneath you it devours"
BeautifulDay3005: hee!
Made to heal Xx: wouldn't it be funny if your chair was incorporeal and you tried to sit down on it but you fell?
BeautifulDay3005: no
Made to heal Xx: i'd laugh
BeautifulDay3005: i might get hurt!
Made to heal Xx: i'd laugh
BeautifulDay3005: HMPH
Made to heal Xx: that's how TFE can win!
Made to heal Xx: it can be like, "La la la, I'm a bridge!" and they'll try to drive over it and die!
BeautifulDay3005: ROFL

( Me and Red discuss a Buffy spinoff...SPOILER WARNING! )

In other news, I finally became a man! WOOT!

Hee. I reread the log. My favorite parts?

( Cyn bashing )

( Pirates go ARGH! )